Missing My Mom Friends

Friendships come and go.

That is the one thing I have learned over the years.  Now that my kids are away, I am faced with finding ways to keep in touch with my “mom friends.”

Missing My Mom Friends

After graduating from college, I immediately moved with my soon-to-be husband out of state. I had grown up in the same town and house my entire life up to that point. My now-husband chose a career path that would mean transplanting ourselves in different cities and states early on in his career. We had no children so it made for a easy transition…at first. Each time we moved I would leave behind new friends, mostly from my workplace. Luckily for me, I was a pretty outgoing person, so I made friends quickly in each new location.

Soon, the baby bug hit me and children were “added” every couple years until our family was complete with three beautiful kids! By the time our oldest daughter turned three, we had moved into our “forever” home. Finding friends for my children was pretty easy.  here was a plentiful supply of kids in the neighborhood and at the pool by our house. I, too, began to make friends, mostly with the moms of my children’s friends.

The Friend Merry-G0-Round

With very active children, I was able to make mom friends easily. I had my Girl Scout friends, my soccer and basketball friends, PTO friends, neighborhood friends, and school friends.  My summer track friends were probably the closest friends I had made.  Traveling with them and sitting in the hot sun for hours had nurtured a special bond with these parents. You know you have a real friend when they will share their last “plop” of sunscreen or water bottle with you because you forgot to bring it! I did, however, find that whatever sport or activity my children were in, also dictated who I “hung around” with.  The sad thing was, when each activity was over with, so was my interaction with those moms…until the next season rolled around.

Finding My Besties

As my kids got older, they began to focus on just a few sports or activities. They also began to nurture their own close relationships that still stand today. Even the big and little sisters were friends with each other…how perfect could this be?!  I was also lucky to have formed good friendships with these special moms.  Our girls were together constantly, we trusted each other’s kids implicitly, and found many things in common with each other besides our girls.

I think for the first time in many years, I felt like I had found my adult “best friends.” So why am I now feeling lonely and left out?

I Don’t Want New Friends!

In a child-less house, I am now faced with trying to keep my “mom” friends in my life. It has not been easy. The phrases “Let’s do lunch!” or “I’ll call you next week and we’ll get together,” have good intentions, but the reality is it just doesn’t work that way…at least for me. Here is the reality…I’ve made no attempt to call or text these wonderful ladies. I guess I figured that once the girls all set off for college, my time with the moms would end as well. Yes, I work two jobs…OK, so I go visit my girls often  Couldn’t I still free up some time to hang with my mom friends? I’ve become complacent with child-less life. The casts of “Southern Charm” and “Housewives of Beverly Hills” have become my besties now. 

Getting back on the Social Train

So what am I going to do? Well, I certainly don’t want to start over and find new friendsI already have them. Social media hasn’t been much help either. Seeing pictures of them out socially with other moms makes me a little sad. My mourning time for being bored has passed, darn it!!! No more wishing I could still talk and laugh with these moms. This is the time of my life where I need to stay connected and enjoy these women. Not because they are the moms of my daughters’ friends, but because they are my friends.

Wait…what was that? That’s right. They are not “mom” friends. They are just friends. What a concept!

I’m going to text a few of them and try to set up a night out with them. A night of laughter, reminiscing, and catching up.  I will…I promise…because I miss my friends!


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Brenda is a working wife and mother of 3 daughters. Almost an empty-nester, Brenda will be adjusting to a quieter home-life by trying her hand at writing about her motherhood experiences. She attended the University of MN-Duluth with a Bachelor of Applied Arts Degree in Art and Interior Design graduating in 1986 and marrying her husband of 26 years, Scott in 1990. After moving around a bit for her husband’s job, they settled in Cedar Rapids for good in 1996. Currently working as a high school secretary and holding down a part-time job as well, Brenda still finds time to enjoy her daughters’ track meets, scrap-booking, tending to her 2 dogs Tucker and JJ, and attempting to show some swagger in Zumba class!