A Letter to my Pre-Baby Friends

Dear Friend,

Hey there! Remember me? I’m the girl who used to love being the life of the party, the one who would make sure to send you birthday cards (sometimes even on time), would call you just to talk or hang out on a whim, and loved going on girls’ trips. I used to do or say anything just to make you laugh. I know you haven’t seen me in awhile. I haven’t called, I haven’t stopped by…but I want you to know today how much I miss you.

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You probably feel like I’ve fallen off the face of the Earth…sometimes I feel that way, too. A couple years ago a new man came into my life, and now I’m a whole new person. Weighing just 7 pounds, 14 ounces, from the moment I met him, he literally stole my heart. And my time. And my energy. He became the most important person in my life, and I stopped being that good friend I had always prided myself on being.

I’m sorry.

I know you understand. You’re busy, too, with your family, or job, or hobbies, or new friends. I’m glad I have social media so I can keep up with your life. So we can occasionally reminisce on the days gone by when we were younger, and skinnier, and more fun. The days when our Facebook albums were filled with pictures from late nights out, vacations to the beach, or after hours parties, instead of ultrasounds and babies and toddlers.

Life is great now. But it’s different. And I miss you in it.

I want you to know I haven’t forgotten about you. Just because I don’t call doesn’t mean I don’t think about you and your family and the good times from our past. Often times between diaper changes and saying, “Please don’t throw that at Mommy!” and giving goodnight kisses, I smile thinking about the good times we’ve shared. Whether we’ve been friends since elementary or since college, I cherish the memories we’ve made throughout the years and hope you know you’ll always be an important person in my life.

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I hate that it’s been so long.

Maybe I haven’t seen you since your wedding, or our college graduation, or that time forever ago that we ran into each other at a mall. Whatever the case, it’s been too long. Life gets so busy and we live all over the country now, and I find more and more time passing. We say “Let’s get together soon,” and we mean it, yet time continues to pass and that is just how life goes. Priorities change, people change, time keeps marching on.

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Please know I’m still here for you.

I hope you know I’m still that same friend you used to know. I still care about you and value your friendship and would do anything to help you if you needed me. No, I haven’t forgotten about you. I hope that someday, when our lives slow down and I start getting sleep again, we could pick back up where we left up. Thank you for sticking with me through this. Thank you for “liking” my baby pictures on Facebook and sending me Snapchats that make me laugh. That may be the extent of our friendship right now, but I know it won’t be like this forever.

And I’m going to need you again.

When my kids are driving me crazy when they’re in high school, or they are leaving me for college, I hope you’ll still be around to be my friend. I hope you’ll talk me down when I’m ready to pull my hair out after they disappoint me. I’m going to need you to have a drink with me at their weddings. One of these days, we can start making memories again.

I promise someday I’ll be the life of the party again, and I hope you’ll still want to join me.

 

Comment below to tell me how you busy mamas keep in touch with your pre-baby friends!


 

Natalie Ivory is a University of Iowa grad who grew in Traer, a small Iowa town. She spent time living in Des Moines and Dayton, OH before relocating back to Cedar Rapids where she’s lived for 6 years. She loves her job in marketing/communications at ACT, Inc and is pursuing her MBA. Natalie has been married to Greg since 2011, and their first son, Leo, was born in the summer of 2014, 7 years to the day after they first met. Baby #2, George, was born in October 2016 making them a happy little family of 4.

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