Ten years ago, a young and naïve girl walked into Birthright carrying a coupon for a free pregnancy test. Showing up to her junior year of college being a week and a half late, her roommates assured her it was stress. They showed her how to use the coupon in the 2007 student booklet to put her mind at ease. These books were filled with discounts at the bookstore, free wings with pizza, and cheap bowling on Wednesday nights. But the first one she had to use was the one that would alter the course of her life forever….
I’ll never forget the look on the woman’s face as the four of us walked in. She thought we ALL needed to take a test. Nope, just me.
I had always been the good kid, the one who never got in trouble, was always home for curfew and stayed away from drugs and alcohol. Somehow, the summer of 2007 had led me down a dark and scary path that resulted in a pregnancy I, admittedly, never wanted.
When she returned with my test results, I stared at the two pink lines. What does that even mean? I had zero interest in becoming a mom, let alone had any knowledge of how these pee sticks worked.
“You’re pregnant. The two pink lines mean it’s positive.”
Those words echoed in my head as I collapsed into my three roommates with heavy sobs. Little did I know, God had one more secret in store…there were two babies in there.
The years that followed were by far the hardest and scariest of my life. I was alone with two babies, dead broke and without an ounce of self-esteem. I dropped out of college, lost most of the friends I had there, almost lost my entire family, and had far more bad days than good. Every time I thought I had reached rock bottom, life would throw another curveball and we would tumble once again. The only positives I had left in my life were the two tiny humans who were oblivious to the turmoil around them.
I can happily say that my story didn’t end there, and because of those two tiny humans, I was able to turn our lives around and arrived at a future even better than we had ever imagined. Because of those two pink lines, the plan I had originally made for my future was squashed. I had this idea laid out in my mind of where I would go and who I would be. Not once did the role of “Mom” ever come into play. Once it did, there was nothing I could have wanted more. I made a promise to myself to not become a statistic.
These kids deserved the world and I would find any way possible to make that happen.
Those two pink lines held so much more than a scary truth of what was to come. They held the single mother who dropped out of college, but managed to graduate this past summer at the age of thirty. They held a short period of buying groceries with food stamps until I got back on my feet with a job and the ability to financially support the three of us. Those pink lines would contain years of mental abuse, police reports, and being afraid for our lives. Only to come out way ahead, by meeting the man who is now my husband.
There are days when I feel like I’m still trying to find my footing in life. But I have two-fourth graders who are healthy, smart, funny and the best things to ever come into my life. Our journey over the past decade hasn’t been easy. It was a long road to get to where we are today. I’m not proud of my past, and the guilt I hold onto is detrimental for all parties involved. But I now know I can face anything life throws my way because of the perseverance it took to climb out of the fire.
Those two pink lines might have placed me on a road a little less traveled than my peers, but my little loves, I’d go through it all over again to end up where we are today.
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