Motherhood Then Vs. Motherhood Now

Before having children, did you ever find yourself imagining what motherhood would be like?  Did you wonder how it would change your life, or how it would personally change you?  

When I think back to 2013, when my daughter was just a baby girl, I can’t help but reflect on how different motherhood looks to me now compared to then.

Motherhood Then: Nervous     Now: Confident

I’ve realized that no matter what, the decisions I make for my children and my family are MY decisions.  Instead of being nervous about making the wrong one, I am confident in myself that I’m making the best decision for my family.  It’s okay if it’s not the decision others think I should make.  And if it turns out not to be the best, that’s okay too, because sometimes we don’t always have the right answers.  As my dad always said; “mistakes are wonderful opportunities to learn.”

Motherhood Then: Exhausted    Now: Still exhausted, but used to it

Everyone tries to tell you how tired you’ll be, about the lack of sleep that comes with having a baby.  It’s true, but you can’t fully understand it until you experience it. The feeling of exhaustion is a new feeling for first-time moms, but it is all part of the journey.  You get used to it for the time being because eventually, ‘This too shall pass’. At some point, everybody will sleep again, right?

Motherhood Then: In Love      Now: I Had No Idea What Love Is

I’ve been in love before.  I fell in love with my husband and my love for him continues to grow.  Also, I love my family. I love cookie dough. But NOTHING compares to the rush I felt when I first held my daughter.  NOTHING.  And just when I think I can’t love her anymore, I look at her and my heart grows.  The same goes for my son.  It’s an indescribable feeling.  Unconditional love– there’s nothing like it.

Motherhood Then: Scared      Now: Comfortable

Being pregnant is scary.  Going into labor is scary.  Becoming a mom is really scary. The first night at home with your new baby is, let’s be honest, terrifying.  It’s scary because it’s all unknown.  It’s uncharted territory and you’re totally stepping out of your comfort zone.  But then…it becomes the known.  It becomes the day to day.  Even now, I still get scared from time to time, but I’m more comfortable with my fear and more confident with my role as mom.  It’s okay to be afraid.  It means you’re human.

Motherhood Then: Worried     Now: Even More Worried

Yeah, I’m sorry to say but this one just never seems to go away.  Ever.  I was a worrier before becoming a mom and it’s gotten even worse since becoming a mom.  I worry about my daughter all of the time, even more so now than when she was a baby because she’s doing what kids do.  She’s growing up.  I worry about my son because he has no fear.  I worry about them because I’m their mother and that’s what I’m supposed to do.  But I don’t allow the worry to consume my life or theirs.  It’s our job as  parents to worry. I can accept that.

Motherhood Then Vs Motherhood NowWho would have thought that one life-changing experience and one precious little human could do so much to change our lives?  I’ve realized that motherhood is something that will continue changing you; as your kids grow older, as you grow older, as you add more children to the picture.  My life changed when I had my daughter 2013 and it changed again when I had my son in 2017.  It’s okay to change.

I’m proud of my view of motherhood then, but I love how my ‘now’ and I wouldn’t trade it for the world!


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Ashley is a ‘small town’ girl who moved to the ‘big city’ of Cedar Rapids after high school. A graduate of Coe College, Ashley is currently a kindergarten teacher and a true lover of yoga pants, cozy sweatshirts, chai tea lattes and cookie dough. Ashley and her husband, Mitch, first met each other back in middle school, dated when they were freshmen in high school, then reconnected one final time via Facebook back in 2006 shortly after Mitch returned from his first deployment. They've stood by their vows of ‘for better or worse,’ and as they approach their 10 year wedding anniversary, they aren’t afraid to admit that marriage isn’t easy. They welcomed their first child, Stella Grace Bass, in May of 2013 and their second child, Archer Mitchell Bass, in December of 2017!