Tales from the Pump: Things My Breast Pump Says to Me

I recently went back to work after having my second daughter. I’m currently nursing her, so going back meant dragging out the dreaded breast pump to use several times a day. Anyone who has used this device (which makes you feel like a cow being milked) knows the angst I feel when three hours have passed at work and it’s time for the black bag to be pulled out again.

When pumping during my nursing journey with my first daughter, I swore my breast pump “talked” to me. Various phrases and words would be said through the loud motor during my 20 minute sessions. I thought I was going crazy or suffering from extreme sleep deprivation, but then I started talking with other pumping moms.

Tales From The Pump: Things My Breastpump Says to Me

It turns out that I’m not alone in having a pump that spits back words to me. Below are some things I’ve heard or other Cedar Rapids Moms Blog writers have heard from their pump, as well as some of the thoughts I have back to it:

Beware: the little black bag can get mean!

Tales From the Pump: Things My Breastpump Says to Me

“Feed me. Feed me. Feed me.” – It must know a nursing mom is always hungry!

“Raccoon. Raccoon. Raccoon.” – I guess they are nocturnal like new moms, so this kind of makes sense!

“Fat girl. Fat girl. Fat girl.” – Thanks a lot pump! If our self-esteem wasn’t already low for just having a baby!

“Packers. Packers. Packers.” – I don’t even like the Packers!

“Rapper. Rapper. Rapper.” – I always wanted to be a rapper in another life!

“Listen. Listen. Listen.” – Listen to what?! This pump constantly taunting me?

“Right now. Right now. Right now.” – Right now I would like to be doing anything but pumping!

“Rachet. Rachet. Rachet.” – Has my pump been reading the urban dictionary?!

“Let go. Let go. Let go.” – Does my pump think that I’m Elsa from Frozen?! 

“What now? What now? What now?” – That’s what I’m trying to figure out, too!

“Go home. Go home. Go home.” – I wish I could, but I’m stuck at work, hooked up to a machine and reminded that I’m away from my baby.

“One minute. One minute. One minute.”  — Why are you telling me one minute?

“Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.” — I’d love to stop pumping, but my baby needs food!

“Broccoli. Broccoli. Broccoli.” — Geez pump, don’t you know this gives my baby gas?!

Does your pump “talk” to you? What kinds of things does it say?

Elizabeth is a personable, outgoing mom living in Cedar Rapids and working as a high school counselor. She met her husband, Ryan, in high school, but were friends for several years. They started dating while they were both at the University of Iowa and have been married since 2009. After enjoying 5.5 years as a married couple with only a dog to be responsible for, they added to their family in November 2014 when their daughter Elin was born. They welcomed their second daughter, Myla, in October 2016. In her free time, Elizabeth enjoys being outside, reading, traveling, attempting to be crafty, running, cheering on the Hawkeyes and spending time with family and friends. She’s loved seeing Cedar Rapids through the lens of a mom and all our city has to offer for families.

2 COMMENTS

  1. The baby’s sound machine talks to me like this too when I’m up with him in the middle of the night!

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