Dear Baby: A Reflection of Your First Year

My sweet Baby,

Today, you are one year old. I thought time passed by quickly before, but this has truly been the fastest passing year of my life. Seriously, weren’t you just in my tummy, like yesterday?

This past year has been full of laughter, learning, tears, mistakes, and memories. We’ve grown together and have taught each other so much. When I reminisce the time that has passed, tears flood my eyes and my heart silently sobs.

How did you grow up right before my eyes, my love?

At the same time, I’m filled with joy that you’re finally one. More than any other time in your life, this year has shaped who you are and showcases how much you’ve learned.  I’ve watched you discover your hands, explore your surroundings, learn how to clap, speak, imitate, blow bubbles, interact with people, and realize your mobility. You’re so independent, determined, loving, and curious.

I can only pretend to envision what year two will be like. My only hope is that it goes by slower than this year.

Your first birthday is a huge milestone. Maybe it’s because we’ll no longer be counting your age in months! It’s not only your birthday and transition from baby to toddlerhood, but it’s also my momiversary.  One year ago today, you made me a mom.

A Reflection On Your 1st YearSure, there was lack of sleep, enough poopy diapers to build a 12-foot tower, boobs that seemed to leak at inconvenient times, as well as an influx of expenses. There was also joy, wonder, love, and purpose. You have made me whole. You make me a better person and encourage me to strive to think consciously about my values. _DSC3782
I tell you this everyday, but you are so incredibly loved and wanted. Your daddy and I prayed long and hard for you. We’d spend hours daydreaming about what you’d be like, how we wanted to raise you, and who’d you become. Now, we have a year’s worth of parenting under our belt and a sweet, spunky little girl to show for it. We don’t say this out of habit when we say you’re our miracle. You’re irreplaceable and you mean the world to us.
 

How can I put into words how much I love you? How can any birthday gift, blog post, themed cake, or carefully planned party compare to the unconditional love I have for you?

It can’t.

I’m constantly overwhelmed with love.  More love than you can even fathom until you decide, or if you decide, to have a baby of your own. I know you’re too young to understand what this all-encompassing love is, but I hope I someday you’ll be able to wrap your sweet little head around how much you mean to me.

As we walk through life hand-in-hand, know that I’ll always be your number one fan. When you let go and pursue your dreams and pave your own path, I’ll support you all the way. My hope for you is that you embrace your imperfections, stay true to who you are, and learn from your mistakes. Always remember where you came from and be patient, kind, and respectful. The world can be a scary, but beautiful place, baby girl. Just know, mama always has your back!

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For now, I’m going to savor this sweet moment. You’re snuggled in my arms, dressed in your fuzzy wiener dog pajamas, and we’re reading your favorite book. You’ve made the world stop with each rock of the glider. As I sing you a song and rub your head, your eyes flutter, and you drift into slumber. The sun sets on your first birthday. I brush your silky soft, blonde hair out of your eyes, and place you in your crib, just as I did one year ago.

Someday, I’ll read this to you so you might be able to get a small glimpse of how truly incredible it is to be your mama.

By simply existing, you have given me everything.

Happy birthday, my sweet girl. I love you to the moon and back.

–Mommy


 

Kailee is a natural-minded mom with a passion for writing, experimenting in the kitchen, being outside, and traveling the world. She’s a Content Manager by day and supermom & wife by night to two beautiful little girls and husband of 7 years. She has lived in Cedar Rapids most of her life and digs the big city yet small town feel. You can catch her scoping out local dives & cafes, and biking the Cedar Valley Trail on the weekends. She lives on good coffee, good wine, and good conversation.